A Blog With No Name

It has come to my attention, thanks to flatline42.bsky.social, that Substack refugees are having this thing where Gmail flags the new newsletter as spam.

Normally this would be a pretty good call on the algorithm’s part. Something with an identical name to something that already exists, clearly trying to masquerade as that thing? No thanks. Of course, none of that logic helps newsletter writers or their audiences, who never wanted to have to move in the first place.

There are two obvious ways around this problem. One involves pestering people and asking them to please check their spam folder for the new newsletter and mark it Not Spam. This solution sucks. I personally try very hard not to check my spam folder because it’s awful in there. If an email newsletter requires readers to wade through creepy ads and bizarre junk and phishing attempts just to find it, the newsletter is no longer an email but a project. I'd rather avoid that if I can.

The other way around the problem would be to rename the newsletter.

Renaming is the obvious solution, since this newsletter does not have a name and could probably use one. It's not like I haven't tried to come up with one. The best I could ever do was “Dispatches,” a name that makes me so bored I can't even finish rolling my eyes at how cheesy it is before I fall asleep.

So I'm sitting here, trying to make myself be clever, when I suddenly remember last year’s April Fools prank where I announced that I’d signed with the Daily Wire and recorded an episode of my new show, Louder with Laura. One of the first comments I received was “you should have called it Oh No Jedeedn’t” and like, damn. Damn. Pitch perfect for a fake Daily Wire show. If only I'd outsourced the name…

And so:

Do you have an idea for a newsletter name that's catchy and snappy and sounds like fun to read? This is your time to shine! Please submit any and all ideas in the comments or via email. Maybe the name conveys that I mostly write about conservatism and the far right. Maybe it just conveys that the newsletter is about politics. Maybe it’s just really fun to say and piques curiosity.

If chosen, you could win a basket of fabulous prizes, including:

1. A heartfelt “thank you!”

2. Bragging rights

3. The warm, fuzzy feeling of naming the newsletter

Also, if you suggest the winning name, I will shout out a thing of your choice in the first edition of [Name TK], as long as I am not fundamentally morally opposed to the thing you choose. It could be a personal project, a newsletter you think people might like, a favorite comic, your cat: whatever.

By entering this contest, you agree not to be hurt if I don't pick your suggested name, even if it's clearly better than whatever I end up picking. Multiple submissions encouraged.

Let the games begin!